We've been struggling with issues of sibling rivalry between our No.1 and No.2 for quite sometime. Trust me, they can be the best of friends and yet they can also be the worst of enemies, all within the same time. As parents, we are bound to feel the stress when the kids are bickering and squabbling amongst each other. It is driving me bonkers. Somehow, I put in my best effort to be discreet in handling the situation.
I understand as they go through different phases of their lives, their varying needs can lead to disputes and jealously. I love all my 3 kids equally and try hard to be as fair as possible by giving an equal amount of time, affection and attention to each kid, so that they do not feel left out . Seriously, I believe that problems between siblings are likely to arise from unfair treatment from some parents who are taking sides with their brother or sister. Having a favourite child can obviously cause a rift between the siblings.
Although No.1 and No. 2 are four years apart, my fervent hope is they remain close as ever. I encouraged my kids to be supportive of one another in time of need, readily help each other with problems and that they continue to be best of friends! That said, I truly treasure the relationship I have with my siblings and I'm happy for the loving and strong bond that still exist between us.
As far as No.3 goes, my toddler is doing great and such a happy go lucky kid.
As the saying goes, blood is thicker than water. Friends may come and go, but siblings are forever.
Appreciate your thoughts.
I agree that favouritism by parents isn't good for their children. Love them for who they are.
ReplyDeletesometimes their different characteristics are what blends them into each others' needs. we used to only fight back then, me n my sister, but now we are the best-est friend anyone can have. it even drew jealousy when i was with my ex. :p
ReplyDeleteI used to fight with my sisters and brothers when we were small. But now all grown up, we don't fight anymore. I think this is normal in any household. Luckily, my parents always treated us all equally : )
ReplyDeleteMei Teng,
ReplyDeleteyeah...Parents must serve as good role models to inspire kids to grow up with love and affection.
Levian,
ReplyDeleteNo matter how hard siblings argue, they would be still sisters in the end. at times, I get so mad with my sister, but I still love her dearly and have a soft spot for her.
foong,
ReplyDeletei guess sibling rivalry is pretty common in every household, isn't it?
In the kids' eyes, we can never be "fair", no matter how equal we think we are in treating them. But I guess it's OK. Their rivalry at these ages is just part of growing up. It would be "scary" if I had brothers and sisters that don't fight at these ages.
ReplyDeleteYou know, sometimes I wish my siblings and I could have a fight and make up in a flash like the kids, now that we've grown up and grown apart with our own commitment.
Funny ... my next post is also somewhat related to sibling rivalry ...
Don't worry about that. I have seen siblings fighting over little things but when it comes to supporting each other through hard times, they usually do.
ReplyDeleteI echo most of the above comments. Siblings do fight but they'll grow closer when they grow up.
ReplyDeleteBuzzing J,
ReplyDeleteit's true. Sometimes we don't think we are showing it, but a child may interpret our gestures differently and pick up subtle things, which indirectly send them the wrong idea.
ECL,
ReplyDeleteit was just important to be present in the moment. That would prevent the smaller quarrels that would result to bigger outburst. i hope when it comes to tough times, they will support each other.
JL,
ReplyDeleteI believe our presence, reaction and input is part of the dynamic.
I experience favoritism firsthand during my childhood (I am after all a girl not a boy) and the feeling did not lend to a healthy sibling relationship. :(
ReplyDeleteSibling rivalry is normal. I'm sure they'll get along and understand each other when they grow up..
ReplyDeletelina,
ReplyDeleteaw, i feel bad for you. This is particularly true in some cases, though not always.
monica,
ReplyDeleteyeah, As parents, the best we can do is appreciate each child as unique from their siblings. :)
hmm.. i have another older sister and i always tell my mother how unequal her treatment is to me... what to do ... i'm the youngest, the rebel. :D
ReplyDeletethis is rally normal, i think so! but surely, this doesn't take for how many days..us-my siblings, it would only by less than 5 minutes then we end up laughing..heheh!
ReplyDeletegagay
renaye,
ReplyDeletedon't worry about it. we used to fight like cats and dogs but now we are the best 'piau meis' ever.
Gagay,
ReplyDeleteyeah, it's quite the norm to have quarrels between siblings. at times, u just have 2 give n take. :)